queen b’s and lovely legs

monday morning musings 
I’ve come to discovered that in life there are a few things I’ll never understand. Like, why the shampoo always seems to run out first, or why rain seemed to come and go as it pleases – ensuring to ruin any outdoor related plans along the way. Or, where the black guy went at the end of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the original… Seriously, he just ran away. Where did he go? Is he dead? Why didn’t I see him in the sequel? C’mon guys.
Although these things have resulted in many restless nights, there is something that has proven to be even more of a problem to me. I like to call it, ‘The Bitch Phenomenon’. If this isn’t already a phenomenon, I feel as though it should immediately be made into one. Alright. Allowed me to explain:
In Friendship
Growing up as a girl, I’ve had the pleasure of watching friendships grow and wither… and regrow! Honestly, the dynamic of the typical adolescent female friendship is kind of juicy. Observing girls in their natural habitat always proves to be interesting. One thing I’ve come to notice throughout my, uh, study is the unexplained attraction to the Queen B. ‘B’ standing – in this case – for ‘bitch’. The girl who talks poorly about people, makes fun of others and acts as if their excrement released little stench is the same girl that everyone wants to be best friends why.
Why is this?
Are women naturally self-sabotaging?
I’d like to say that this is one scenario wherein I am not part of the norm. I would like to assure you that I am in no way guilty of being persuade by the ‘Bitch Phenomenon’, but I also promised me mother I would never tell a lie. It is almost as if these individuals come with some sort of hypnotic ability. They pull this wool over our eyes and make us think that they’re really cool, when in actuality, they’re just extremely mean. Before we can save ourselves, we begin to act and think like them. Perhaps we change and partake in activities that were once against our beliefs. Who knows? Regardless of how the friendship develops, you will eventually lose sight of who it is you are.
I am happy to say that this has only been the case in my life once – maybe twice. In most cases, I’m the girl on the outside looking in, thinking, ‘that’s quite foolish’. Phoniness and a lack of genuine empathy has always been pretty apparent to me, so I rarely let people get in my head. I just can’t understand why that is so hard for others?
Not only have I been the brainwashed, but I’ve also been friends of another brainwashed individual. You watch them begin to act like the aforementioned Queen B, as your closeness begins to dwindle. In fact, this has happened several times in my life. I’ve more often been the friend, than the participant themselves.
I just don’t get it!
I mean, yes, I’d understand if these were behaviors that were isolated to the years of puberty, when every girl wants to be that popular girl. We’re young, we’re foolish. Enough said. But no. I’m currently a 20 year old girl and people my age still behave in this manor. Furthermore, I know of situations involving people 10-40 years my senior, where in the Queen B gets her giggles.
I don’t think I will ever truly understand; I don’t really think there is an answer. Maybe at the end of the day we all really do want to get hurt.
But it doesn’t end there…
In Relationships
Alright boys. If you don’t want to hear it, close the window now.
Please note that this is specific to a certain group of men, excluding those who have proven themselves to be different. They are few, but they do exist. I know; I’m dating one.
(The above is to be said in a really quick voice, like the warnings at the beginnings of TV shows)
Growing up, I was the proverbial ‘good girl’. I obtained nicknames including ‘Mary’ (as in virgin) and ‘goody goody’. In fact, some guys I have known have told me that I am too ‘sweet’ to see that way. That’s bull, guys.  Maybe I am bitter; I don’t know. But, it really is. Recently I had a lovely chat with a dear friend of mine about this very topic. Much similar to girls, it’s almost as if guys seek out the girls who will hurt them, as well.
Behind door number one you have a thoughtful, caring and sweet girl. A girl who will listen to you through everything and support you no matter what. Door number two, on the other hand, houses a girl who is probably vocal and attention seeking, but has very little to offer you. Naturally, you always tend to pick door number two. Now, I am not saying that Door number 2 girl is completely void of attraction or anything like that. I am sure, to you, she’s wonderful. But, sometimes, I think you gentleman need to take a chance the Door number 1 girl. She might surprise you! In fact, I know she will.
To some extent I get it: the squeaky wheel gets the grease, right? If a girl is going to be vocal – either in a flirty way, or just general louder – she will indeed cause attention, thereby leading her to become more popular and sought after. I just think it is kind of pathetic of our society to be that way. I suppose, in retrospect, I should not limit this to just women. I am sure similar things happen to guys, but being that I’ve never been a guy, I can’t really speak for them.
At the end of the day, I guess what I am trying to say – however poorly – is that be mindful of the choices you make in regard to the people you surround yourself. Being ‘cool’ is a state of mind, which is subjective to each and every person. Me? I think playing cards and drinking tea is pretty darn cool, while others think I am a total weirdo because of it. Well, up theirs, I say!
Over the past year or two, I made the choice to keep in my life only the people who make me genuinely happy. The people who make me smile in the morning. Like, first thing. Even before I have my morning coffee. That means something. I think you should, too. Take a moment and ask yourself who you truly love to be around, and be around them more. If a relationship doesn’t leave you feeling 100% amazing, what’s the point? You deserve amazing bonds.

As for the Queen B’s out there…

Life’s far too short to be a B; maybe you just need a hint of honey. 🙂

today’s work out
This is bound to make you sweat!
Anyhow, stay sweet.
Caitlyn
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