We’ve all heard of it, I’m sure. Furthermore, we’ve all more than likely experienced it. It’s mean, it’s green and it’s… well, it’s just really dirty , is what it is.
I’m referring to the ever-popular, green monster. That’s right: jealousy.
I’ve mentioned in the past the human attraction to comparing themselves to others. We spent all of our time looking at our peers and – worse – celebrities, pining for their eyes, lips, body… you name it. Now, on the one hand, these actions can be completely healthy and innocent, unfortunately, in a lot of cases comparisons and jealousy can really take over one’s life. This is where all that mean and dirty stuff I mentioned before comes from. I don’t really know the origins of the ‘green’ monster. But, we’ll go with it.
I’ve never been the kind of girl to suggest that I was void of all forms of jealousy, but I have been the girl who has tried desperately to keep all green-like behaviors on the down low. People would ask me, ‘doesn’t that bother you?’ and I’d reply with, ‘no… should it?’. From there, I’d most likely get defensive and dismissive, telling them they’re foolish to be do jealous.
As I grew older this mentality became more difficult to maintain. Jealousy is a natural human instinct, and one that should be in no way shameful. To be jealous of someone or something just implies that you a) care and b) have normal human emotions. What is shameful is when people use their jealousy as a catalyst for undesirable behavior.
On Being Jealous and Dealing with It
Regardless of how hard I tried to, I couldn’t beat it.
Turns out, I am human – this is something that I am sure many people have questioned over time. I get jealous. It never really occurred to me that it was, in fact, jealousy until my mother brought it to my attention. At first, I displayed my traditional ‘you’re crazy’. Soon the epiphany took place and I realized I was jealous.
So that is what that feels like.
At first, I was somewhat embarrassed by this. Now, I just embrace it. I’m totally allowed to be jealous of people for things. Completely! I just should not let that jealousy control my life – no no.
Best Ways to Deal With Jealousy
- Look at what you have and be grateful for it.
This is not specific to being jealous. Everyday you should wake up and think about all the things in your life you’re grateful for.
- Take comfort in the fact that there is probably someone out there who is – in some way – jealous of you.
Just don’t let it go to your head, guys. C’mon.
- Realize that jealousy is just a state of mind and that you can easily overcome the issues.
- If your jealous surrounds something that you can change, change it. If you’re not completely happy with yourself, there is no reason you cannot make improvements, using others as inspiration.
The above is a statement that I state with a specific meaning in mind. I don’t condone any violent or hurtful self behavior in order to achieve something someone else has. What I am referring to is things that are easily changed. Perhaps you’re jealous of someone’s academic success. If you’re not happy with your academics, then I see no reason why you shouldn’t improve. Or, say you like someone’s hair style and longed to have it. I see no reason you cannot try to mimic their do. Do not, however, harm yourself in anyway to be like anyone else.
- Get to know the person to whom you are jealous of. Usually with jealousy comes negative emotions to the individual in question. If you take the time to get to know them, you’ll probably find that they do have their flaws, just like you. And even more importantly, you’ll probably grow to like them more, which – for me, at least – makes it harder to be so jealous.
These are just some examples of how to overcome jealous emotions. Perhaps you agree with them, or perhaps you don’t. Regardless of your take on the proceeding, I think it would be wise to make number five a priority. Every time I’ve been jealous, the moment I humanize the subject, everything eases up. Like I’ve said before, there are always two sides to every story. Nothing is black and white, at all. Everyone comes with several layers, which make them more real and, oddly enough, much more likable. If you take the time to peel those layers and see their true self, you’ll more than likely be surprised with what you find.
On Being the Subject of Some One’s Jealousy
I am perfectly comfortable in admitting that I’ve been the subject of another person’s jealous. It would be absolutely foolish of me to assume otherwise! The same goes for you. I am no suggesting the my existence if perfect, or anything. I’m just saying that I know people have been – maybe even slightly – jealous of me. Jealous like I’ve been jealous of several people. Heck, I bet there are some individuals whom I’ve been jealous of who have also been jealous of me.
I really hate being on the receiving end.
In the past I’ve had people act toward me in a very ‘must be nice to be you’ manor, which has really bothered me. You only know the girl I show you, so don’t assume my life is all flowers and rainbows. It’s not. I, like everyone else, have had to overcome a great many things. Yes, I’ve been extremely gifted. I will not argue that. I have the most amazing mother, a caring father, a hilarious family, a cute dog, adorable friends and a boyfriend who has stolen my heart completely. So, yes, I’m lucky. But I’ve also struggled with anxiety, depression, an unhealthy relationship with eating, the feeling that I’m never good enough… the overall disgust for oneself. In school, I had to work hard. Some things didn’t come easy to me. With boys, I was rejected or just ‘the friend’ until Omar fell into my lap (best thing to happen to me), I’ve had friends betray me, hurt me, use me and throw me away. Does this sound familiar? Does any of it sound like you? I am sure at least one of these traits of mine do.
Now, in saying that, I’m not trying to achieve pity, at all. In fact, all these things that have happened to me, have made me into the person I am today (gotta love a cliche), so I’m not at all upset that they happened. I just feel like, maybe, before assuming something of someone you should get the whole story.
Alternatively, I’ve also been hurt due to someone’s jealous tendencies. This, right here, is the killer. And, what I personally see as completely unjustifiable. To be jealous of someone is understandable; to let that jealousy cause you to treat someone like shit is completely ridiculous.
I will never understand how people can let jealousy control their life so much that they’ll treat those around them poorly. This whole concept of wanting everyone around you to be as upset as you are is totally ridiculous. Can you spell ‘grow up’? If something good happens to someone, feel good for them. Don’t make them feel poorly because you do. That is just selfishness. I understand that sometimes it can be difficult to be happy for someone else, if you’re not happy. But, you need to try. Why? Because they’re probably just like you. Everyone has insecurities. Everyone. If you walk into a room of eight people, there are nine insecure people there. It’s just the way it is. We’re told over and over again that we are not good enough, so yes. We’re all insecure. When people seek excitement from other – namely their closest friends – it’s because that want that positive reinforcement. They want you to get excited for them, to help amplify their own happiness.
Stop being selfish and start making people feel good.
This whole concept can even relate to an older post of mine that touches on the concept of the law of attraction – a law to which I am in great support of. If you give out positivism, you’re likely to receive it in return. In other words, if you walk around with a total bitchy face on, make fun of others and exert general negativism, then at the end of the day, that’s what is going to come your way.
And I hate to say it, but you’ll deserve it.
The next time you feel that green eyed monster creeping up behind you, ask yourself this simple question:Does anyone truly rock that shade of green?
Two Reasons Why You Should Never Feel Jealousy Toward Me
1. I still think pictures where you are pretending to climb things/making faces are preferable to ones where you’re smiling like a normal, sane person.
2. I’m the kind of person who tries to be scary to no avail. Instead of looking like a bear, I look like a rabbit. Not a cute one. Maybe one with rabies or something.
The above pictures were taken the the Museum of Natural History. I went there this weekend with my Mama and a lady I work with named Elizabeth. It was quite interesting. I plan to keep my eyes pealed for exhibits of interest to me and go again!
That is all for now