Coyote Beautiful

thurdsay’s thinkies
Good morning lads and lasses! Welcome to Thursday, 🙂
1) Naps are vital in life! I used to be a anti-napper. I thought, ‘why waste the day, napping it away?’ but then I came to realized… sleep is good. I typically wake up early (I am talking 5:30) and, I honestly NEED to get out of bed. I just do. I like to get up, eat, work out and get ready, so 5:30 it is. Getting up that early can sometimes be difficult though, so naps it is!
2) Rhymes will never get old.
3) Neither will puns.
4) This right here:
Yeah, it’s kind of awesome.
5) Flowers never ever ever get old…

….especially purple ones.

6) Preforming Barre/Pilates and Yoga is a lot better when done without any footwear.
7) My current favorite way to raise my heart rate is go jog for 1 minute, sprint until I can’t (usually 30-45 seconds) preform 5-10 burpees (normal or yoga) and then repeat!
8) You should always mind what you say at work, as you never know who’s ears are right around the corner.
9) Yet, at the same time, if you mean what you say then you should never stifle yourself.
10)  Puzzles kick rump! 
11) And, while cheaters never prosper, using a literary aid has never hurt anyone…
 
12) Decreasing my cardio, while increasing my toning and stretching has been a really good move!
13) I want a long bob…
coyote beautiful
Speaking of napping, today Baba and I were able to share the entire day together completely and utterly alone. Not that I don’t absolutely love spending time with him as well as the rest of the family, but being that we don’t get a copious amount of strictly alone time, it is always nice when we do.
I think the main reason I love it so much is because it gives me a small taste of what it could be like when we live together. What our lives might look like. In a lot of ways, we’ve both kind of decided that this is it for us. We’ve found the person we’d like to grow old with. I mean, sometimes I’m still kind of in shock that it ended up being him – the guy who I thought was a real mean pants, in this undeniable cute and sexy (I said it) way, but it is and I am glad.
Anyhow, one of our activities today was an unplanned nap with Zooey. After a solid hour of rest, I opened my eyes up and saw him next to me. We had been holding hands when we fell asleep, so my hand was kind of… well, it was stuck and I couldn’t move. Usually when I am ready to get up, I’m ready to get up. I’m kind of a ‘go go go’ girl. I don’t like to lounge for too long. Even if I am watching a movie/TV show, I’ll get up after break, or 30 minutes, and just wander then come back (drives Mamabear absolutely bonkers). I don’t know why, but I get restless.
Anyhow, in that moment, I didn’t want to move. I was totally ready to stop napping, but I didn’t want to leave yet.
Why?
1. I was kind of worried to wave him up. He tends to be a light sleeper and he’s been quite tired lately being that he is working a lot, so when he’s asleep… I want him to stay resting, and
2. I kind of  found a calm in seeing him all rested. I’m a total weirdo, right? I love to watch people sleep. 🙂 They always look so content and at peace. It makes me happy.
So I stayed there, looking at him for a solid… uh, well, time is but a number right?

This kind of reminded me of the whole concept of coyote ugly, but only instead of want to eat my own arm to get away, I’d rather stay there for as long as virtually possible because it’s really wonderful there.
I have not spoken much about my intimacy issues on here, but I have them quite badly. In fact, I have an issue showing intimacy at all sometimes. I can’t really explain it, at all. I get scared really easily. Of what, I am unclear, but I do. It has often caused slight issues because it does tend to send the wrong messages to the people I love.
Verbally, I’m fine. I have no issues letting people know I love them. It’s when physicality comes into play. One of the things I have a hard time with is staring at people/looking people in the eye/being stared at. I don’t know what causes it, but I have always had a difficult time. I feel very exposed in those moments. Unsafe. The ironic thing is it happens to me mostly with the people I feel most safe around.
That’s right. I’m weird.
I am trying to get better though. I am making more of an effort to look Baba in the eyes, at all times. 🙂 Which is becoming easy as he has some adorable peepers on him!
 
stay sweet
caitlyn
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