Thank You for my AZzzzzzz

simple sunday: surveys and afternoon sleeps
I know for a fact that I’ve completed this survey on my previous blog (or, perhaps, on my current one… I can’t recall). When I saw it circulating again (via http://www.pbfingers.com) I knew I had to do it again. I’ve done so much changing in the past… few months, to be honest, that I thought it would be fun to do this again and see if my answers differ, at all.
simply a to z

A – Apples (and all fruits – banana, berries and peaches). I absolutely love fruit. They’re so naturally sweet and tasty! Not to mention extremely good for you! I aim (and succeed) to have three to four servings of fruit, daily. Usually this consists of an apple, berries galore, bananas and perhaps a pear/peach/apricot. Typically speaking I prefer my fruit in the natural and fresh form, instead of dried and/or juiced, but whatever cranks your chain, right? My all time favorite go-to fruit at the moment is Pink Lady Apples. They’re such a treat! I eat an apple daily, I’m sure. I love them.

B – Barre/Pilates styled workouts are definitely going to take the cake for B. As you know, when I started to incorporate more Yoga/Pilates and Barre into my fitness regime, I noticed so many changes in my mind and body. I feel beautiful, graceful, elegant… the list could go on. Let’s be honest, I feel girly. I love to feel girly. 

C –  The clean eating lifestyle. I absolutely love the feeling of eating clean. Knowing that the food I put into my body is extremely healthful and good for me has helped me – in so many ways – overcome my struggles with disordered eating. Instead of focusing on what I shouldn’t/couldn’t eat, it caused me to focus on what I should and need to eat. If you’ve never tried out the lifestyle of eating clean, I strongly advise you to give it a go. 🙂

D – I love being able – or being surrounded by people who – dress up. I know it sounds kind of ridiculous but ever since I took part in a high school program a few years back where one of the events require me to dress up, I have loved the whole concept. I am not huge into dressing up like a total skank, though. Halloween to me is about being cute or funny, not looking like I just walked out of a porno, thank you muchly!

My friend, Shelby, from work at the Sunshine Bear and I!

E – Exercise has become an important and required part of my life. I love to create work outs (see below for this weeks ‘Love Your Body Toning Every Inch’ work out).  I used to think I didn’t have it in my to design a good work out, but now I love making them up. Every morning, over my oats, I plan my work out. I live for it. Some people don’t understand and some people take the whole concept for granted (which, never should be the case). I feel grateful that I am able to sprint, sculpt, spin and stretch! It makes me who I am; it makes me feel beautiful.

F – Friends the TV show. It’s actually almost ridiculous how much I love this show. I – at the drop of a hat – can reference the show without even a thought! My mother and I have kind of turned this into a small game. OK, OK. A really large game. It’s embarrassing, really.

 

Truth!

G – Games are like my all-time favorite pass time. Mostly word, card or board games. I am in LOVE with crazy eights, cross words and… pretty much any board game under the sun. I love challenging my mind and thinking, so trivia games are a big plus. Lately I’ve been kicking serious rump at them, too! I just love them. My Friday nights are usually spent curled up with a tea and some kind of word game. I think that I found my perfect match considering last Friday night, Omar didn’t hesitate to join me on the coach with a book of Suduko. 🙂

I – Intellectual conversation with strangers (and friends, too). I absolutely love exchanging knowledge on virtually any topic with a multitude of people. If I don’t know something, I want to learn about it! I don’t feel the need to be an expert on every topic, but I love expanding my vocabulary  and knowledge everyday of my life!

J – Jewelry of all kinds. Typically I find myself drawn to elegant and simple pieces, with a timeless flare. Currently my favorite is the necklace Baba got me while he was away. 🙂 It goes with virtually everything I own!

K – My dear friend Kathryn who has always supported me and has always been there for me. I love her so much, I can’t even begin to explain it. We can go months and months without seeing each other and the moment that we see each other again it is as if no time has passed at all. I absolutely love her and am so grateful to have her. No matter what happens, she will always be my dearest friend. My very own kindred spirit :).

L – Laughter (mostly from small humans… yes, babies). I absolutely love the sound of a laugh. More than you can even understand. It’s the most beautiful sound there is. When people laugh, it makes me smile. When babies laugh it makes me feel like nothing bad in the world could happen.

M – Me time. I knwo it sounds odd, but I’ve always been a pretty quite and to myself person. I require so quiet quality time with me, or I will go completely nuts. I’ve discovered that this is best done in the early morning between 6 and 8 AM. This is when I work out and eat breakfast and plan out my day. I love it. After that time, I want nothing more but then to be surrounded by those to whom I love, I’ll admit. Too much me time can also make me a little crazy. But in that hour, I love just quietly sitting with myself.

Okay, Zooey didn’t get the memo and joins me. In fact, now she comes and gets me if I am not up at a certain time. She tends to be a quiet attendant in my morning routines, so I decided to let her stay.

N – Spending time with  nature would definitely be the number one on here. I love trees and trails and birds and butterflies. All of it. In the summertime and fall, most preferably. I love sitting among the trees and reflecting on life. I just love nature. It’s simple beauty makes me truly calm and relaxed.


O – My amazing boyfriend, Omar, who has come into my life in the most beautiful and profound way. Before him I was an honest wreck. I didn’t know who I was or what it meant to be loved by someone other than your family – in that very special way. H’es made me come to terms with the fact that I am strong and beautiful and smart. When I am with him I feel safe and able to do anything. He makes me happier than I ever thought I could be.

P – My loving and incredible parents.

It is no secret that my mother is my best friend. Our relationship is unlike any mother-daughter relationship I’ve seen. We talk about everything, enjoy doing everything together and I am not the least bit embarrassed about it. Why? Because my mother is truly one-of-a-kind. She’s the most generously beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I feel very fortunate to have someone like her in my life.

My father is also no joke. He’s odd and strange, albeit, but he would bend over backward to keep the people he cares for happy. I’ll never forget about the kind and thoughtful things he’s done for me over the years and will never forget the many wise words he has bestowed upon me.

I really don’t know how I got this lucky, but I am certainly glad I did. 🙂

Q – Quotes and quoting. Whether is be awesome Friends references, or quoting the famous words of Dr. Suess, the whole concept of a good quote makes me happy. To know that words have had such a great impact that they’ve – in many ways – been eternalness, makes me happy. I would absolutely love to one day be quoted.

My favorite quote of ever:

 
R – Roses and all other flowers cause me to feel at complete and utter ease. If I could live in a flower garden, I probably would. I’d sleep of the petals of a rose and dance along the stem of a sunflower. Life would be perfect!

S – Anything related to the sea or the ocean. As I’ve said in the past, I absolutely love large bodies of water! I love them even more if there is waves involved! Anything in this category makes me truly happy shells, dolphins, swimmingsailing (though I am not a sailor, I’ve gone out of boats many a’time), sand! Okay, until this moment I didn’t realize how many ‘s’ words related. The sea makes me extremely happy! 🙂

T – Telling people you love them

It might be the best feeling in the world to see the smile on the face of a person who knows they’re truly loved.
Mama, I love you. Omar, I love you. Daddy, I love you. Zooey, I love you. Kathryn, I love you.
I LOVE YOU 🙂

U –  Unusually child-like behavior….

Like eating off a child’s plate…

FYI: There is an owl smiling at you under there, I promise.

V – Vegetables! All of them. I haven’t met a veggie I didn’t like.

W – One of my largest passions has to be writing. Every moment that I can sit down and write, I will. I love the feeling of constructing a well-thought out sentence and sharing it with the people I love. Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of positive feedback regarding MY writing. I love it! Typically speaking, I’ve never felt like I was all that good at it, but wit all this kindness, I feel I am really starting to develop a true belief in myself.

X –  Total Cheat: x-mas Eve is probably my favorite time of the year. I absolutely love the feeling of family and togetherness. Typically speaking, the idea of squishing so many people into my Grandparents house causes to me feel a sense of claustrophobia, but Christmas Eve night is something completely different. If we weren’t crawling all over each other, it just would NOT be worth it, it wouldn’t. Chrisrmas Eve night is also the one night a beg for snow to come. More often than not, I find myself wanting to get a hold of one of them snow removal cans from Frosty Returns and get rid of it all, as well as the cold. But, the two weeks leading up to and Christmas Eve itself is a whole other thing. I love snow at Christmas time.

It’s so x-citing 😛

Y – Yoga! You all know how I love me a good bend and stretch! Lately I have been loving Tara Stiles yoga via Livestrong woman, The routines are short enough that you COULD do a few of them, or add it to the end of your own work out for a new stretch. I absolutely love the feeling you get after completely a yoga routine. Light and relaxed. I fell out of love with yoga for a bit, but we have reconnected in a more healthy and practical way! Thank Heavens!

Z – Zooey, my dog, is absolutely the number one Z in my books, I love everything about her :). Including (but no limited to) her strangeness, her goofy moments, her snuggles… everything. 🙂 She’s a true keeper.

Also…

Nap time.
Yesterday Omar, Zooey and I took a solid two hour nap together and it was total bliss.

Oh, yes, and the work out 🙂

stay sweet 🙂

Caitlyn

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Babies and Baggies.

what i want this wednesday
First I’d like to apologize for not writing yesterday – after saying I was going to commit more. But, I had a few errands to run, then I had to work, then my cousin came up to hang out! So, it was a pretty busy day, leaving little time to sit down and write. But, I will assure you that next week will have one amazing Tuesday post.
After carefully thinking about how I want to organize these posts, I decided to go ahead and start off with one meaningful ‘want’ and one not-so meaningful ‘want’.  Why? Because I think a balance is extremely important in life! 🙂
My Meaningful Want: Spend more time with Children and Babies
I love kids; I love babies. I’m sure I’ve made this quite clear. I see them, I giggle. I made silly noises to them whenever possible. I just love children. I also love babies. They’re little soft cheeks and rollie-pollie arms; their laughs and smiles. I truly believe that being in the company of a baby can make anyone’s day a bit brighter. Unfortunately, I am horrid at holding them.
I never really thought about it until most recently. I’ve always been exceptionally good with children and infants, but typically speaking I am so when they’re in the arms of another individual.  The moment you put that little being in my arms, I tense. I don’t know why! I will never understand it.
Last night – as I said – my cousin and her boyfriend came over. She is just moving back from being away from home for several years, to rethink her career choices. Considering she had not been home in a long time, we decided to invite another old friend to the house. This old friend is the mother of a beautiful baby girl – who won’t let me whole her!
True, the entire situation had a humorous element to it, but deep down, I couldn’t help but think…
“Why don’t you like me, little girl?”
Before I had the chance to get depressed, my family informed me that it is just because I haven’t been around kids so closely in a very long time. Which couldn’t be more true. So, it was in that moment that I decided that I need to find a way to spend more time with little ones. I am not sure how I plan to do this, yet, but I will make it happen.
One of my greatest fears is that I will be a horrible mother – which, isn’t shocking at all considering my personality. I tend to expect the worst of myself, while anticipating the best of others. I watch my mother – who, I think is the best mother there is – and fear that I will never live up to that. It’s silly, but I cannot help it.  So the moment the baby began to cry, I feared my insecurity was being proven true.  I know now that it isn’t. First of all, it isn’t my child and when I do have one, I am sure she will love me very much because I am her mother and children are naturally connected to their mothers. It’s biology (I think…). And second of all, I’m still very young and have plenty of time to develop my own maternal personality. No rush!
Possible Ways of Surrounding Myself More
Well, I can only think of ONE right now.
I’ve considered applying to the IWK as a volunteer. I am thinking if not during the school year, I will definitely be committing to this next summer! I mean, really, why not? It’ll look amazing on a resume and I’ll get to spend more time with little children, which I really need to do.
I’d like to just take a moment to say that I am quite proud of myself, however. In the moments that the baby wouldn’t let me hold her and everyone laughed, I immediately got internally defensive. But, I stopped myself from overreacting too much because that is something I know I need to work on.
My No-So Meaningful Want
A Burberry Bag…
Typically speaking I find designer names kind of ridiculous. But there is something about the style of a Burberry bag that has always appealed to me. It’s timeless, elegant and classic.
I mean, yes, it’s just a bag. But it’s so pretty 🙂

The Value of a Friend

Good morning world!
tuesday thoughts
Over the past few months, a common theme has become very relevant within my life. What theme is that? Friendship.
I’ve often struggled when it comes to friends. As with most people, the concept of ‘true friendship’ was never properly defined to me and I was therefore unable to distinguish which of my friends were genuine and which were friends of convenience. After high school the defining lines become more apparent. You are not forced to spend time with a certain set of people, so therefore it is entirely up to you to keep in contact. I won’t lie in saying that I have often been the cause of the drift.
During my younger years, I adhered to what I thought was me. And furthermore, would become extremely defensive should someone suggest I was anything else. Trying so hard to maintain a certain image is a sure way of suggesting that perhaps that that personality isn’t true to you. In high school I wanted to be a loud-mouthed activist. A feminist, among other things. Now, while I have absolutely no issues with feminism (when not taken to the extreme) and believe in and equality between men and women, that is no my true personality. So, the connections I had made in high school – although wonderful – were not connections made because of who I truly was. So, after I discovered my true self, the personalities held by these individuals and I didn’t mesh. This doesn’t mean I do not still miss or care for these people, but that we have merely grown apart. I will always love these people, looking fondly upon our moments together. However for now our paths are going in different directions – a concept I’ve grown to accept.
Then there are the friendships that always seem to work. Even after a great deal of hurt.
Most recently I’ve began to speak to an old friend of mine once again. Our friendship had ended quiet unfortunately, and I had honestly never expected for us to reconnect. Words had been said and feelings had been hurt, and there mere notion of letting each other back was somewhat… scary – for lack of a better term. Occasionally we would send the other a kind hello, but nothing ever came from it.
Tacitly, we were both saddened by the parting.
Then, one day something happened. We decided to make amends. Being that we are both full-grown adults, both of us saw no reason to hold such a grudge toward the other. We said our apologies, took responsibility for what we had done wrong and moved on. Now, in a lot of ways, our friendship seems to be more cohesive than ever. We have been supportive to each other in a multitude of ways: including our goals, boys, self-esteem and much more and have caused each other to laugh frantically, even though our friendship has only just regrown.
Friendships like these are the ones to keep; friendships like these are the ones to remember.
It is also important to remember not to forget current friends when introducing new friends – or re-establishing old friends – into your life.  I have made this mistake many times in life, and I am sure you have as well. Never forget the silver and gold saying, okay guys?
To essentially sum up my ramble, I just want to say:
1) Always give second chances
As I’ve said in the past, there is always two sides to a story. Always. Just because you feel like you were in the right, doesn’t mean you were. Accept what you did wrong, and accept any apologies that are given. Any relationship is give and take,  so ensure that a decent amount of both is being done;
2) Always remain your true self and look for people who will support and love you for that
Friendships really are not worth it if it is not because of who it is you are. Right?
Today is just a short entry, as I work soon. Tomorrow be prepared for two new workouts and two reviews!

Stay sweet

Caitlyn

White Lies, White Dresses and White Swan Work Out

wednesday w’s

This weeks post is divided into three very important topics. Being that I am a sucker for alliteration – as you well know – all topics begin with ‘W’! And further more, they all begin with ‘White’.

white lies
One thing I will never truly understand is lying. In my life time I  have told a small lie here or there in order to protect someone from getting hurt. The best example I can think of would be if someone asked me if I liked their shirt and I said I did when I really didn’t care for it. I mean, if someone wanted a really thought-out opinion, I’d give it to them no problem, but in these scenarios I feel it is not a big deal to just let them here what it is they want to hear.
It is larger, more ridiculous lies that I will never fully comprehend. You know the lies that are told with absolutely no reason at all.
Where in someone’s mind does it become OK to make up a completely incorrect story? Is there any real justification for the lying, or is it truly just a compulsion that you have absolutely no control over? Regardless of your personal motive, understand that lying and all other forms of balderdash will come back and bite you in the bum. Perhaps not right away, but with time, it will surely make it’s move on you.
As I mentioned above, I’ve never been one to really take to the practice of ‘lying’ – mostly due to the fact that I stutter and get sweaty palms and can’t lie very well. I have, however been on the receiving end. In my past, there have been situations wherein I’ve addressed a certain person regarding a certain situation and had the respond to me with nothing more than complete and utter bull-poop. Alternatively, I have also been in situations where I discover down the road that a person has lied about a great deal of things – leaving me shocked and kind of disgusted.
What does the do for you? How does this – in any way – further your life?
If you are of the variety of people who feel the need to lie about virtually everything, I think it might be wise of you to really think about your priorities in life. I think you should take some time to think about why it is you feel you need to lie. How will you ever know if someone likes you if you don’t let them see the real you? At the end of the day, would you not rather be praised for who you are, rather than praised for a person you invented?
white dresses

Alright! Enough of lying chat. Onto more important things!

If you know me at all, you’d know I have a small, tiny obsession that takes over every fiber of my being. Now, let me tell you, most recently, I have fallen in love (sorry Baba).

In the past, I was extremely embarrassed about my love of all things wedding related. Wedding dresses, flowers, decor… all of it just makes me insanely happy. Why? I can’t even explain it. It isn’t even my wishing and hoping and planning my own wedding (though, let’s no suggest that isn’t part of it). It’s the whole she-bang in general. I love love and everything that comes along with it.

To me, weddings are the declaration of love: the ultimate ‘I want to be with you forever and I want everyone to know about it’. I can attest to the statement that getting married and having a wedding just ends in a silly piece of paper that in no way defines how much you love someone. But to me, it is a lot more.  To get married and have a wedding – no matter the size – is to say: “Hi. I love you. I love you a whole lot, and I want to spend the rest of my days with you. But, you know what? I want the whole world to regard us as an ‘us’, officially. I want to share with you everything. I want to spend one, beautiful day celebrating our love with everyone with care for the most. Will you join me?”
Guys, if you can’t think of a way to propose, I give you permission to copy that!

I can also agree the what comes after the wedding is far more important: the marriage. The concept of merging into one another’s lives completely, building or buying a house, birthing children, creating and growing old together. The wedding itself is just something that the girl in me has always longed for. And that beauty up there is the perfect dress for me. Timeless, elegant and modest.

Way to talk myself right up there…

I don’t mean to say that I am timeless, elegant and modest (although if you’d like to think me that, I promise I won’t fight you), I just mean that these are descriptive words that always appealed to me. I’ve never been interested in being flashy, or in the spot light. I am not crazy, nor eccentric. In my past, I have longed to be, but with time it has become quite apparent that simplicity is my strongest suit.

Who knows, maybe one day I’ll have a picture of me wearing this beautiful gown.

 Or, you know, I’ll cause my current boyfriend to have a heart-attack induced by an overwhelming amount of marriage and wedding talk and find myself single!

I’d still probably wear this dress.

Afternoon tea with gal pals is reason enough to wear white, don’t you think?

white swan
That is all for now,

Stay sweet
Caitlyn