The Other 47 don’t Really Matter…

To start, I have two small things to say:
1) Does anyone else find that certain texts on your computer make it easier for you to write more eloquently? I do. I always HAVE to write in Georgia or Times New Roman, but I do prefer Georgia. If it is for something professional, I will change the text following the editorial and writing processes, because I need to write in my Georgia to really get my point across. I know, I know. I’m nuts.
2) Is anyone else jazzed the Canada metaled in Synchronized Swim? I AM!
three shades of gray
I decided that today I would write a ditty on the different ‘grey’ areas in life. Everyone – regardless of your age, sex and so on – have moments wherein they discover that things are not simply black or white. In fact, more often than not this proves to be the case. Over the past few years, I’ve found this to be true in several facets of my life. In my relationship, in my education, in my fitness and healthy lifestyle pursuits. You name it, there is a grey area.
lightest gray: healthy fitness

There is a very fine and faint line between a ‘healthy’ exerciser/eater and an ‘unhealthy’ one. I’ve straddled the line and I’ve been on both sides, so I can tell you this much – being is a healthy eater is far more exception.
Unfortunately, coming with a truly clean and healthy lifestyle, judgement is bound to grow – especially if you’re like me and have an unhealthy history. Some people might look at my current lifestyle and think: she has a problem. Why? Because I am very structural and intuitive in my eating habits, passionate and committed to a workout routine, have a slight obsession with anything related to yoga/Pilate and Ballet Barre… et cetera. To me, this is life. To others it could look like an unhealthy addiction, driven by my past issues.
I understand this. Completely. I mean, yes, in the past I underwent a lot of issues, but working out isn’t so black and white (eh?). People who work out and eat right will all have their own reasons for doing so. Mine is no longer to lose weight, but merely stay toned and feel happy. I do some of my best thinking while working out. It calms me, makes me feel attractive and elegant. I can’t explain it; I just love it. So, I guess what I am trying to say is, if you see someone who seems to be extremely dedicated/addicted to exercise, take the time to really get to know their work out schedule (if you truly care that much), or even just take the time to get to know them! Yes, perhaps you’ll discover that their mentality toward a sweating session isn’t ideal, but maybe you’ll discover that they have a love for it, similar to your love of… reading, or playing video games or… for me, writing and helping people (and, let’s be honest, fitness).
Furthermore – on the topic of fitness, alone – each person has their own idea of what is and isn’t challenging or fun. As I have said many times, I’ve tried to be a cardio lover… I’m just not. You will never see my running a marathon (that said, I’d totally be on the side lines cheering you on… maybe doing some jump squats or a burpee ;D). It just isn’t for me. I do love getting a good sweat on, but I have found other more effective ways of doing so (for me). Again, I state: healthy fitness is not something that can put tucked into one category! Healthy fitness could simply be walking for 20-30 minutes every night after dinner. Does it make you happy? Do you feel good about doing it? Do you feel good about yourself while doing it? Then that’s all that really matters. Don’t feel the need to have the perfect legs, or the greatest buns or whatever! Just love life and you’ll shine!
light grey: healthy diet
This is another one similar to the category above. The definition of ‘healthy eating’ is not simple, at all. It might be more complicated than the definition of healthy fitness, to be completely frank. People watch others all the time and compare what foods they’re stuffing in their mouth to the food others are stuffing into their mouths. STOP. Right now, in this moments, quit it. Okay?
First of all, everyone’s body has a different genetic makeup, so why would we all eat the same way? We wouldn’t. Some people can’t handle certain foods, while others can; some people metabolize food more quickly, causing them to require a higher intake of X, while others need more Y. It’s all about your body at the end of the day.
Let’s talk about potatoes.
Let’s talk about popcorn.
Contrary to what you might think, both are extremely nutrient dense foods. AKA: healthy (of course, coating them in butter and other saturates will lessen this, but on the whole… they’re super good for you). I don’t eat either.
Let’s look at pre-packaged granola bars like Fiber One and Havest Crunch.
Both – in my opinion – hold creditable nutrition, yet I don’t eat them… ever.
Let’s look at chocolate.
Gets a pretty bad rep, right?
I eat it daily.
Yeah, yeah. And I probably eat kale like their is no tomorrow, right?
Uh, no. I never eat kale. Use to – not anymore.
So, what gives? I am a self-credited ‘health  nut’, am I not?
Well, I most certainly am!
To start, potatoes and most other starches (with an excepting to oatmeal, some cereals and quinoa) cause my a great deal of pain and… I don’t like them. While most people see a plate of pasta and think ‘heaven’, I think ‘okay, cool’. I used to love it, but I just don’t anymore. I’ve much rather a plate full of broccoli or brussel sprouts…. or both. Okay, both. It’s just my preference. There is nothing wrong with these foods, at all. So, when I say I don’t eat them… I don’t mean you shouldn’t either. I mean… I don’t eat them. For my own reasons. Popcorn, on the other hand, has more to do with my not being much of a snack-er. I never feel the need to ‘snack’, so snack foods and I don’t really happy. I have snacks, but I look at them more as one of my mini-meals.
As for the granola bars, I do ample research on a product before eating it. I am not suggesting that there is anything wrong with entire of the mentioned products, but they’re not really on my list of ‘highly approved foods’. Again, this in no way means that you shouldn’t eat them. I eat very ‘clean’. What does that mean? Everything I eat, I eat in what can be considered it’s truest form. I don’t not eat granola bars, but I have a list of companies I try to stick to when choosing to do so (Luna, Kind, Lara and Simply). This also goes for crackers (Lentil Crackers and Nut Thins). I look for products with minimal ingredients and try to find products that have few-to-no GMOs. I am also in favor of Kashi products, too. But don’t think because I’m  not (or anyone, really) eating a certain food you are eating, there is a reason you shouldn’t be eating. I don’t even eat ‘clean’ solely to be ‘healthy’, it’s just something I’ve been doing for so long that to not doing it would be… weird.
Chocolate and kale? Well, I am not huge on kale. First of all, I do like a good kale chip, so when I crave that, I’ll buy some. But often I find it to be too much work (yes, lazy). I like it, but I’d rather buy pre-washed and cut foods to make my life easier. Shoot me. Chocolate, I just really like it. A year ago, I’d never eat chocolate. Ever. But now I enjoy dark chocolate nightly (and have even purchased white and milk chocolate granola), so chocolate is on my list. I am much more interested in the sharp taste of dark dark chocolate than I am milk, but if you like milk… eat it!
All in all ‘healthy eating’, is eating in a mindful way that makes your body feel good. That’s all. Don’t feel the need to eat this, or do this in order to be deemed ‘healthy’. If you’re happy with your meals and love how you feel in your skin, my opinion is, you couldn’t be doing any better.
grey: love and intimacy

Love is a gray area onto itself. First it is impossible to define, or explain and you don’t really know how it feels until you truly experience it. I know this first-hand. I used to think I knew what love was, but I didn’t. In friendships, in relationships… with my family. I thought I had it all figured out. But it isn’t that simple.
First of all, you can be intimate without being in love. An individual I know (well, a few) have been intimate with people they didn’t really ‘love’ several times. This used to confuse the heck out of me. First of all, intimacy is the act of closeness and love… so should you not be in love with the person you’re being intimate with? For me, yes. For others, maybe not.
This above all else has become the most notable ‘gray’ area I’ve come to meet.
There are one thousand reasons one might be intimate with another person. Maybe they are hurting and need some solace, or they enjoy their time with the person, but know that it is not something that will leave the confines of an intimate setting. Perhaps there was genuine love in the past and while that love was easy to let go, the physicality of their relationship was not so easy to.
This is something I’ve had to come to terms with in the past. I have had to learn to accept and support others for their choices in intimate encounters, regardless of whether or not it is something I would or would not do. Everyone has their reasons for needing things – just as I have my reasons for not eating certain foods and exercising daily. There should never been any judgement, because there is never a true reason to judge.
What about love?
In most things in my life, I’m crazy structural and planned out. Love isn’t structured and love isn’t planned. Love will hit you when you least expect it – probably for someone you didn’t expect to fall. Love is also not two 2d. When you fall in love, an array of emotions comes over you. You begin to think of that person before yourself and all the time. You want nothing more than to see them happy – sometimes to a fault. You can’t explain why and even though you never thought you’d be the kind of girl who gets excited over making some one a chicken sandwich, you do.
But as I stated before there are several kinds of love, and it cannot be easily defined. My love for my mother is different than the love for my father, as my love for Omar differs from both. Similarly the emotions harbored by another individual toward their close ones could manifest itself completely differently than mine might. Everyone is different, so even love cannot be compared.
Just on a side note: Please don’t be afraid of love. I used to be. I’m still often fearful of intimacy, but love I’ve come to terms with. If you open your heart and let someone truly in, you’ll never ever want to go back. So don’t fear love and don’t fear intimacy. The closeness you’ll experience with those to whom you are intimate with will be breath-taking, I promise you. I just feel I am unable to lecture too heavily to that, being that I still have my own growing to do in this field. Luckily I’ve found an amazing man who is willing to work with me through all my little nits and pics.
Holy poo, I am pasty.
Stay Sweet, 🙂

HodgePodge Wednesday

Good morning everyone! Today I have a lot of things to share with you.
warm and fuzzy
Yesterday was a really, very special day.
It was Tuesday, so Elizabeth – a lady I work with to whom I frequently go to movies with – was working. If you’ve been following me, at all, you’d know that Elizabeth and I have developed a real relationship both in and outside of work.
A few weeks ago, while discussing baked goods, I informed her that my all-time favorite baked good was a snickerdoodle.
I got to work yesterday to find Elizabeth sitting in the lounge doing a word search. Upon seeing me, she immediately informed me that there was a ‘surprise’ for me in the fridge. I opened the fridge and there sat three adorable snickerdoodles baked by a one Ms. Elizabeth. I nearly cried. She asked me to try them and at first I said I wasn’t hungry. But, then I said screw it and took a bite, just so she could see my reaction.
Best snickerdoodles ever.
The gesture almost caused me to shed a tear. How could one little women be that sweet?
I put the snickerdoodles into my purse and thanked her again. After that, we together tackled the rest of the word search together. Probably the best moment of my day.
You never realize how sweet such a small thing will be until something small and sweet lands in your lap.
If it is in the form of a yummy cookie, all the better. 🙂
words to live by wednesday
Treat others as you wish to be treated.
Lately I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about who I’ve become. I am by no means perfect. In fact, I could not be further away from perfection. Unfortunately, I still have this need in me to achieve perfection. I hate to admit it, but I am consistently worried about how I am perceived. Whether it be by the people I work with, the people I love, anyone…
So, whenever this goal of mine because more and more difficult to achieve I become somehow discouraged and enraged. I feel poorly of myself and therefore because extremely defensive and… I hate to admit it… rude.
Most aspects of my personality are decent, but there is one that I do need to work on. I have this slight tendency to take out my inner anger on the people I love the very most. I feel stressed, scared and worried and because of these feelings and behave most inappropriately. I often say things without thinking about how it could sound to another person, then immediately feel horrid that it came out that way. I always apologize, but by then it is often too late. What is said is said, and I need to live with the consequences.
Last night my mother and I had a good and eye-opening discussion regarding it. She informed me that I need to stop or I could risk losing someone I love a lot. I couldn’t even imagine what I would do if I lost any of the people in my life. This is no longer about me, it’s about those to whom I love the very most.
I have mentioned in the past that I am no afraid to admit my faults. I have them; I have many. But this is the one that plagues me. I don’t take these people for granted, at all. I love them and worry everyday that they will leave my life in some way. So, my actions are impossible to explain.
I wanted to say I am sorry and I love you, publicly.
You three are the most important things in my life; without you, I’d be extremely lost. From this point forward I plan to make it an effort to not let my inner anxieties by any reason to treat you poorly. You’re worth more than that and it is time I start owning up to this. Thank you for being in my life and I will love you always.
work out update
Lately my work outs have been great. I haven’t shared any because they haven’t been very inventive. Though, I will inform you that lately I’ve been drawing most of my inspiration from ballet. I find ballet to be a great way to tone and sculpt a beautiful body.
Lately, I’ve been trying to learn to slow things down. I still love my intervals, both high intensity and not, but I’ve come to love the art of toning my body a great deal more. In fact, on the weekend I my phone malfunctioned (which is where my interval timer is). I had already had an interval based work out planned, so I needed to come up with a Plan B and quick. So, I hopped on my bike and basically did a 30 minute tempo run. Now, it was fun and effective, but it seemed long. I need to break up my work outs right now. It’s the only way that I can stay motivated.
It’s funny how every now and again work outs change, isn’t it?
Anyhow, I’ve become very influenced by ballet. My current obsession is <a href=””>Ballet Beautiful</a>. If you’ve seen the movie Black Swan, then you’d recall Natalie Portman being all very ballerina. Well, Ballet Beautiful is a ballet inspired fitness program designed by the very woman who trained her, Mary Helen Bowers. Not only a website, but also a book, this regime is pretty perfect for any person. I’ve already spent too much time reading up on it. I haven’t yet invested money, but would definitely say I’m getting close.
I think in a lot of ways, my workouts are defined or designed by how I want my life to go. Right now, I need to slow down. I need to let the beauty within me come out a little more. So, beautiful and elegant work outs it is!
I am also planning to use my work out time as a time of reflection. I need to center myself and remember what I am truly grateful for.
My mother and father, Omar, Zooey, my friends – both new and old, my health and my passions.

My new favorite move? Swan arms, which is – again – a move designed by Mary Helen Bowers.

I suggest you check out this beautiful and effective form of exercise.



That is all for now.

Stay sweet,



The Value of a Friend

Good morning world!
tuesday thoughts
Over the past few months, a common theme has become very relevant within my life. What theme is that? Friendship.
I’ve often struggled when it comes to friends. As with most people, the concept of ‘true friendship’ was never properly defined to me and I was therefore unable to distinguish which of my friends were genuine and which were friends of convenience. After high school the defining lines become more apparent. You are not forced to spend time with a certain set of people, so therefore it is entirely up to you to keep in contact. I won’t lie in saying that I have often been the cause of the drift.
During my younger years, I adhered to what I thought was me. And furthermore, would become extremely defensive should someone suggest I was anything else. Trying so hard to maintain a certain image is a sure way of suggesting that perhaps that that personality isn’t true to you. In high school I wanted to be a loud-mouthed activist. A feminist, among other things. Now, while I have absolutely no issues with feminism (when not taken to the extreme) and believe in and equality between men and women, that is no my true personality. So, the connections I had made in high school – although wonderful – were not connections made because of who I truly was. So, after I discovered my true self, the personalities held by these individuals and I didn’t mesh. This doesn’t mean I do not still miss or care for these people, but that we have merely grown apart. I will always love these people, looking fondly upon our moments together. However for now our paths are going in different directions – a concept I’ve grown to accept.
Then there are the friendships that always seem to work. Even after a great deal of hurt.
Most recently I’ve began to speak to an old friend of mine once again. Our friendship had ended quiet unfortunately, and I had honestly never expected for us to reconnect. Words had been said and feelings had been hurt, and there mere notion of letting each other back was somewhat… scary – for lack of a better term. Occasionally we would send the other a kind hello, but nothing ever came from it.
Tacitly, we were both saddened by the parting.
Then, one day something happened. We decided to make amends. Being that we are both full-grown adults, both of us saw no reason to hold such a grudge toward the other. We said our apologies, took responsibility for what we had done wrong and moved on. Now, in a lot of ways, our friendship seems to be more cohesive than ever. We have been supportive to each other in a multitude of ways: including our goals, boys, self-esteem and much more and have caused each other to laugh frantically, even though our friendship has only just regrown.
Friendships like these are the ones to keep; friendships like these are the ones to remember.
It is also important to remember not to forget current friends when introducing new friends – or re-establishing old friends – into your life.  I have made this mistake many times in life, and I am sure you have as well. Never forget the silver and gold saying, okay guys?
To essentially sum up my ramble, I just want to say:
1) Always give second chances
As I’ve said in the past, there is always two sides to a story. Always. Just because you feel like you were in the right, doesn’t mean you were. Accept what you did wrong, and accept any apologies that are given. Any relationship is give and take,  so ensure that a decent amount of both is being done;
2) Always remain your true self and look for people who will support and love you for that
Friendships really are not worth it if it is not because of who it is you are. Right?
Today is just a short entry, as I work soon. Tomorrow be prepared for two new workouts and two reviews!

Stay sweet


Opening up your heart; opening up your world

Good morning lads and lasses!

over the breakfast bowl

When you meet someone and fall in love there are certain things that you need to open your mind to. First, your heart. You need to allow them into your heart. You need to be willing to let yourself feel for them, while letting them feel for you, as well. You can’t be embarrassed to feel or to express, to have or to hold.

When I first decided to experiment with love, I thought that this would be the most difficult thing to do. I was wrong.

Letting someone into your whole world is by far the scariest part.

Sometimes, you’re legs… they’re not perfectly shaved. Other times, you are moody or upset for no apparent reason (which, we blame on PMS even if it isn’t that specific time of our cycle). Or, in my case, you’re life is a certain way and you’re scared how someone will fit into each facet of it. Even if the person doesn’t care how you spend your day, as long as you choose to spend it with them.

As mentioned in my last post I have never been good with change. Not at all.

Last night, my boyfriend surprised me – quite amazingly – by bringing all of the needed materials to not go home and spend the night. Now, this wasn’t the first time we had spent the night together, and I had been hinting to him how much I wanted him to, but the moment he told me I started to panic.


Every morning I have what I call my ‘me’ time. During 80% of the day, I’m open and friendly, talkative to no end. However during the hours of 6:00AM and 7:45AM, I have my me-time. I get up, have a small 1/2 breakfast, let it set while planning out my workout, workout, wash and the other half of my breakfast. The breakfast pre-work out focuses on energy supply for my workout, while the breakfast following focuses on protein and some carbs, for recovery purposes. After that, my day goes like the rest of the world. During this time, I’m very quiet. It’s my introspective time for me to think, reflect and calm my mind. I was scared – for some reason – for my boyfriend to see this.

He (like with almost everything I freak out about) didn’t really see any issue. He completely understood that I needed my ‘me’ time because a lot of people need ‘me’ time.

Needless to say, I realize in hindsight that I completely overreacted. The night was absolutely perfect. And, the next day was even better. I did my thing and he did his. Afterward, we came together and discussed our things. It was lovely! I guess I just need to remember that when you fall for someone, everything they do is perfect. Even if it drives you crazy, because you’re crazy about them.

challenges and changes

Something big has made a change. Something really, really big.

I’m sure you’ve seen this guy…

Well, there is a new bowl in the rotation!

The other day, Omar and I went to a local clay painting place and did some serious painting of clay. I wanted a new oatmeal bowl, so it was clear what needed to be done…

That said, I couldn’t leave the one I was with unmentioned.

He made one too!

The back reads, “I love you to the moon”, which is one of our sayings to each other.

I’ve also decided to change up my work outs, ever so slightly.

Again? Really?



Because I’ve been falling more and more in love with yoga, Pilates and – now – Barre. So, I’ve been doing the research and finding ways to incorporate them all into my daily work outs!

The Plan:
Sunday = 20 minuts HIIT + 20-35 minutes of flow yoga
Monday, Wednesday and Saturday = 16-25 minute HIIT + 20 minutes of upper and lower body toning (Monday is focused more on arms, back and chest and Wednesday is most focused on legs and my glutes; Saturday is just whatever I want).
Tuesday and Friday = 20-30 minutes of cardio and ab work (10-15 minutes of ab work).
Thursday is a focused day. I’ll pick one body part and REALLY challenge it.

Today is Thursday! Therefore, a challenge was called for.

A Tri-ing Warrior Work Out
What You’ll Need: Interval timer, yoga mat, 3-5lb dumbbell, water.
Set your time to two rounds of 45/15 intervals, with a 5 minute break in the middle

Begin with a 2 minute cardio warm up. Jogging in place is fine!

Circuit One: Tri to be a Warrior!
Begin in Warrior One position. Hands held firmly over head, with weights pressed together. Preform one overhead Tricep extension. From there, slowly lean forward – core engaged – lifting your left leg behind you, easing into a Warrior Three pose. As you continue this fluid motion, create an erected arm over your head and with complete control, pull arms back into a back extension. That’s one rep. Complete fifteen, balancing on your right leg.

At 15 reps, hold warrior 3 pose and begin pulse your arms back. Keep core and stationary leg strong.

Repeat once on other side.

Preform a 8 minute HIIT (45/15 intervals). Any form of cardio you want.

5 Minute Tri Challenge!

One minute each, until fail!
– Reverse plank leg raises, alternating
– Table position tri dips
– Jog
– Tricep push ups
– Low (chataranga) plank hold.

Preform another 8 minute HIIT (45/15 intervals).

Repeat first circuit again!

Stretch and done.

This work out was awesome! I’m loving the combination of yoga moves with Pilates moves.
My tris are feeling this bad boy!

That’s all for now.

Oh no! Oat meal is gone and my post is over.

Stay sweet.

Caitlyn. 🙂