Cuckoo for Coconuts

oh, my word, much to discuss!
A lot of stuff to update on today!
First and foremost, I’m starting to develop a general interest in food, again!
You’re probably thinking, what?
Well!
For the past three-four months, I’ve been lovin’ salads. Loving them! Now, before you say something like, ‘have you turned against the greens?’ hear me out!
I still love salads, I have just been getting bored of my salads. Typically speaking, my salads involve grilling of vegetables and meats (which I still plan to do) throwing them on top of some greens (which I still plan to do) and blobbing a dollop of hummus on top and calling it a day! Which – I still plan to do. I mean, come on. It’s hummus!
Regardless, I feel my life needs a little more!
So, I kind of went Cuckoo…
for coconuts. 🙂
In my attempt get my ‘salad recipe making on’ I came up with a really yummy Coconut Balsamic Vinaigrette and two tasty recipes!
The Cuckoo for Coconut Balsamic Vinaigrette
Serves 2-3
1 tablespoon full-fat Coconut Milk from a can
1 tablespoon good quality balsamic vinegar
1 teaspoon Extra Virgin Olive Oil (or any oil of your choosing)
1 teaspoon honey (naturally)
1 tablespoon vanilla almond milk/water
Whisk all ingredients in a bowl and let set for two or more hours, so all the flavors really start to dance!
From there, you can – if you want to – enjoy my
Cuckoo for Coconut and Peach Salad 
Serves me! Or you.
Ingredients
3oz-4oz of grilled protein source (I used chicken, but feel free to use turkey, salmon, shrimp, etc)
Two handful of Salad Greens
50 grams of mushroom, diced
50 grams of cucumber, diced
50 grams of summer squash, diced
50 grams of peach, diced
1/4-1/2 avocado, diced
1.5-2 tablespoons of my yummy in my tummy Coconut Vinegar .
Preheat your grill and lightly spray it with oil spray.
My meat was grilled by my father, so grill your protein according to what you’re eating with your salad. 🙂
Chop all your vegetables into fours, keeping your mushrooms with your cucumbers and your squash with your peach.
When grill is preheated, place all squash and peach on the grill, leaving it to cook for about five minutes. Keep a watch, so it doesn’t burn on you!
Place salad greens in a bowl and drizzle with a teaspoon of the Coconut Vinegar, then pile on your mushrooms and cucumber (alternatively, you could grill the mushrooms, but I wanted to eat mine… fresh!).
Once you’ve completed that, place all your grilled good on top! Peach… GOOD. Squash… GOOD. MEAT… GOOOOD.
Drizzle with the remainder of the viniagrette and enjoy!
Sorry, Chick(pea)… but you just didn’t make the cut tonight. 😛
Then, today, I had another stroke of genius.
Whilst gobbling down my current cracker obsession (Rosemary and Herb Lentil Crackers), I thought to myself how much I love rosemary. And thus…
Coconut Balsamic Rosemary Roasted Brussel Sprouts
(with just a hint of… vanilla)
Serves 1 to 2 (depending on your belly grumblings)
So, uh, one for me 🙂
3/4 cup (around 80grams) of baby brussel sprouts
1/2 tablespoon of Coconut Viniagrette
1/2 tablespoon of strong vanilla tea (I used two bags to half a cup)
Up to 1/2 tablespoon of lemon juice
Dash of Salt and Pepper
Generous dash (or two) of Rosemary
Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Cut brussels into halves or quarters.
Lay tinfoil on a cookie sheet, in preparation.
In a bowl, whisk together vanilla, vinaigrette and tea.
Place brussel sprouts onto the tin foil, spray lightly with olive oil spray, drizzle with the balsamic coconut mix and season with rosemary.
When oven is preheated, put brussels into the oven for 20 minutes, checking 10 minutes in.
Enjoy with anything you’d like!
I had mine with a turkey salad that showcased avocado, hummus and cucumber!
Talk about tasty. 🙂
yep, this is the life for me
Just a quick note.Over the past few days, I’ve had several people – customers, old friends and so forth, come up to me and tell me that they think I look absolutely amazing. I have made a valiant effort to be kind and welcoming to this, rather than defensive. Some of the individuals have even told me that they’re trying to lose weight, or something a long that line.

Talking to them has reminded me why it is that I want to pursue a life in fitness, mental health and overall wellness. Each moment I spend pushing someone toward their goals, I feel a sense of power and happiness. Nothing would cause me more happiness that to watch as they achieve their dreams, becoming their ideal self.
I do have some work in regard to discussing diet. It can sometimes be hard for me to discuss food (even still) because I truly feel ashamed of who I’ve been. I’m also extremely worried all the time that people will hurt themselves life I have. I plan to work on this as best as I can to better myself for the future.
Talking to these people makes me remember how amazing I think it’ll be to open up my center, to help people!
If you ever feel like you’re losing sight of what you truly want, find a way to remind yourself ‘why’, okay? Then it’ll all become clear again. 🙂
Keep a close eye.
Tomorrow, I have a Cuckoo for Coconuts Core and Hip Workout to Share!
It’s bananas!
Or coconuts! 🙂
Stay sweet,

Caitlyn

Coyote Beautiful

thurdsay’s thinkies
Good morning lads and lasses! Welcome to Thursday, 🙂
1) Naps are vital in life! I used to be a anti-napper. I thought, ‘why waste the day, napping it away?’ but then I came to realized… sleep is good. I typically wake up early (I am talking 5:30) and, I honestly NEED to get out of bed. I just do. I like to get up, eat, work out and get ready, so 5:30 it is. Getting up that early can sometimes be difficult though, so naps it is!
2) Rhymes will never get old.
3) Neither will puns.
4) This right here:
Yeah, it’s kind of awesome.
5) Flowers never ever ever get old…

….especially purple ones.

6) Preforming Barre/Pilates and Yoga is a lot better when done without any footwear.
7) My current favorite way to raise my heart rate is go jog for 1 minute, sprint until I can’t (usually 30-45 seconds) preform 5-10 burpees (normal or yoga) and then repeat!
8) You should always mind what you say at work, as you never know who’s ears are right around the corner.
9) Yet, at the same time, if you mean what you say then you should never stifle yourself.
10)  Puzzles kick rump! 
11) And, while cheaters never prosper, using a literary aid has never hurt anyone…
 
12) Decreasing my cardio, while increasing my toning and stretching has been a really good move!
13) I want a long bob…
coyote beautiful
Speaking of napping, today Baba and I were able to share the entire day together completely and utterly alone. Not that I don’t absolutely love spending time with him as well as the rest of the family, but being that we don’t get a copious amount of strictly alone time, it is always nice when we do.
I think the main reason I love it so much is because it gives me a small taste of what it could be like when we live together. What our lives might look like. In a lot of ways, we’ve both kind of decided that this is it for us. We’ve found the person we’d like to grow old with. I mean, sometimes I’m still kind of in shock that it ended up being him – the guy who I thought was a real mean pants, in this undeniable cute and sexy (I said it) way, but it is and I am glad.
Anyhow, one of our activities today was an unplanned nap with Zooey. After a solid hour of rest, I opened my eyes up and saw him next to me. We had been holding hands when we fell asleep, so my hand was kind of… well, it was stuck and I couldn’t move. Usually when I am ready to get up, I’m ready to get up. I’m kind of a ‘go go go’ girl. I don’t like to lounge for too long. Even if I am watching a movie/TV show, I’ll get up after break, or 30 minutes, and just wander then come back (drives Mamabear absolutely bonkers). I don’t know why, but I get restless.
Anyhow, in that moment, I didn’t want to move. I was totally ready to stop napping, but I didn’t want to leave yet.
Why?
1. I was kind of worried to wave him up. He tends to be a light sleeper and he’s been quite tired lately being that he is working a lot, so when he’s asleep… I want him to stay resting, and
2. I kind of  found a calm in seeing him all rested. I’m a total weirdo, right? I love to watch people sleep. 🙂 They always look so content and at peace. It makes me happy.
So I stayed there, looking at him for a solid… uh, well, time is but a number right?

This kind of reminded me of the whole concept of coyote ugly, but only instead of want to eat my own arm to get away, I’d rather stay there for as long as virtually possible because it’s really wonderful there.
I have not spoken much about my intimacy issues on here, but I have them quite badly. In fact, I have an issue showing intimacy at all sometimes. I can’t really explain it, at all. I get scared really easily. Of what, I am unclear, but I do. It has often caused slight issues because it does tend to send the wrong messages to the people I love.
Verbally, I’m fine. I have no issues letting people know I love them. It’s when physicality comes into play. One of the things I have a hard time with is staring at people/looking people in the eye/being stared at. I don’t know what causes it, but I have always had a difficult time. I feel very exposed in those moments. Unsafe. The ironic thing is it happens to me mostly with the people I feel most safe around.
That’s right. I’m weird.
I am trying to get better though. I am making more of an effort to look Baba in the eyes, at all times. 🙂 Which is becoming easy as he has some adorable peepers on him!
 
stay sweet
caitlyn

Friday Five: If I knew then…

my friday five
I hope you’ve all had a lovely morning! And – furthermore – I hope that you are enjoying your afternoon! Here, it is beautiful. The sun is shining, the skies are blue, there is warmth and it is just absolutely fantastic. Baba is off taking a (much needed) nap before we head off to work.
Today’s Friday Five will include, not one, but two sections. First, the regular old five along with another five things I’d like to share with everyone. Over the past week I’ve learned a great deal about myself. And furthermore, a great deal about the people around me. I feel like it would be very much a shame to not use this as fuel for my post.
As you know, lately I’ve been struggling with writer’s block. To be honest, I’ve been feeling rather… uninspired. I have been getting the feeling that this is never going to flourish. That my work her is entirely in vain and no one is reaping any of the benefits – other than me. Then, this morning, I received an email from a new reader thanking me for my insights. It warmed my heart. I immediately turned to a – half asleep – Baba and told him. Thank you, reader; you’ll never know how you’re words have made me feel.
Without further ado, I present to you…
the regular friday five

favorite moment

Although this has been a week full of many memorable moments, I think the one the touched me the most was receiving the snickerdoodles from the lady from work. I’ve been having a huge issues lately seeing the good in me. I’m sure we’ve all been there in our life. Lately, I’ve been very hostile – for no good reason – and lashing out at those I love the most. Upon discovering this, I’ve felt nothing but hurt and pain for those around me, and distaste for my own regard. Naturally, being the self-depricating weird-o I am, I took this information and decided one thing and one thing alone,
Life would be better without me.
Ok. Let’s cut the mellow-drama. Regardless of how sappy it sounds, the validity of it is – unfortunately – very much present. After a few talks with Mama and Baba, I’ve learned to snap out of it (even if only a little) and am working on making myself whom I wish I truly was.

The moment Elizabeth presented to me these cookies, I realized that I can’t be all bad. There is good in me, without doubt. In so many ways I’ve made this little women so happy. Every single time she sees me, her face lights up (which causes me to feel extremely happy). To know that I’ve had such a positive affect on this one person allows me to fully accept that there are definite good bits in me. I just need to let them shine more then the bad bits.

favorite food
This one is really quite exciting, to be honest!

We all know I love almond butter – and all other nut butters alike. But, most recently I found myself low on the almond butter. I was frantic. Whatever could be done? Then, I saw it…
Stashed behind the ever-wonderful almond-y goodness lay a tub of butter I had completely forgotten.

Sunflower Seed Butter.

At first the taste was kind of… different. In fact, I wasn’t sure if I liked it at all. But then, I started to crave it. Now, I almost prefer it. I compared the stats of almond butter and sunflower seed butter and both proved to be extremely nutritious. While almond butter seemed to have a little more healthy fats, sunflower seed butter hold a few more grams of protein. So, now, I can rotate my butters!

Not to mention, the price of sunflower seed butter (at my superstore) is about half of the almond butter.

Can you say ‘sunflower seed score’?
favorite exercise

This week my work outs were very much inspired by ballet barre and pilates. I’ve become a convert. Currently I am loving to work my thighs and my abs. I’ve been noticing little tiny spots of abs, so I’m quite pleased with my progress.
This week I’ve tried a new exercise

The Mermaid
Lying on the side of your tush, with your head resting in you palm extend you legs out and cross you ankles. Breath in and pull your legs up, forming a V-shape and slowly lower down. That is one rep. Do this 20-30 times. Repeat on other side.

Ensure that you’re rested on your bum and no on the side of your legs. That will make the exercise more straining in your side.

The above is the starting position, by the end your feet will be in the air, still crossed, working your obliques.
I discovered this exercise from the TIU girls (pictured above). It’s awesome. Extremely hard, but a must-try!
favorite quote
Take these words with you. This week, I’ve really come to discover that I need to remember that I do deserve what I have, regardless of how I feel sometimes. I need to stop worrying and getting scared of silly things, and really let myself enjoy all that life has given me.
A beautiful mom, a caring and wonderful father, the perfect boyfriend, amazing friends, a bright future and a really adorable dog.
🙂
favorite find
I’ve heard about it a great deal. BB cream. It is an amazing invention. Extremely light weight, not think, moisturizing… bliss. I don’t like heavy make up, so when I found this it was a total score.
today’s five theme: if i knew then, what i know now:
1. I’d always listen to my mother/boyfriend when they tell me to quit it. I have a tendency to get defensive and hurt those around me. It’s never good. I really need to work on this one the most, I think. I need to learn to accept my faults more, be less defensive and still accept that I too have great strengths. People are not out to attack me.

2. I would stop cutting vegetables with steak knives. This week I cut a chunk (a legitimate chunk) out of my finger. It was gross. Also, I’d like to learn how to better handle cutting chunks of my finger out. I foresee this happening again (I’m spastic with the knife), so I should probably learn to maintain my composure a little more.
3. I’d never let a friendship end on a bad note again.
4. I’d update my iPhone a bit more frequently….
5. I would tell a very young me to look at herself in the mirror everyday and say five things that you love about who you were the day before, and five things that you could improve upon.
Five things I love: 
– I make Elizabeth happy;
– That I’ve forgiven and forgotten past hurt
– That my hair is starting to highlight itself
– That I have green eyes
– That I have gotten back into writing
Five things to Work On
– Thinking before I speak
– Correcting people all too often
– Lighting up on life and letting my hair down
– That I didn’t full-y stand up for myself
– That I let myself cry when I should have handled it more maturely
Alright, stay sweet,

You and your flowers have brightened my life 🙂

White Lies, White Dresses and White Swan Work Out

wednesday w’s

This weeks post is divided into three very important topics. Being that I am a sucker for alliteration – as you well know – all topics begin with ‘W’! And further more, they all begin with ‘White’.

white lies
One thing I will never truly understand is lying. In my life time I  have told a small lie here or there in order to protect someone from getting hurt. The best example I can think of would be if someone asked me if I liked their shirt and I said I did when I really didn’t care for it. I mean, if someone wanted a really thought-out opinion, I’d give it to them no problem, but in these scenarios I feel it is not a big deal to just let them here what it is they want to hear.
It is larger, more ridiculous lies that I will never fully comprehend. You know the lies that are told with absolutely no reason at all.
Where in someone’s mind does it become OK to make up a completely incorrect story? Is there any real justification for the lying, or is it truly just a compulsion that you have absolutely no control over? Regardless of your personal motive, understand that lying and all other forms of balderdash will come back and bite you in the bum. Perhaps not right away, but with time, it will surely make it’s move on you.
As I mentioned above, I’ve never been one to really take to the practice of ‘lying’ – mostly due to the fact that I stutter and get sweaty palms and can’t lie very well. I have, however been on the receiving end. In my past, there have been situations wherein I’ve addressed a certain person regarding a certain situation and had the respond to me with nothing more than complete and utter bull-poop. Alternatively, I have also been in situations where I discover down the road that a person has lied about a great deal of things – leaving me shocked and kind of disgusted.
What does the do for you? How does this – in any way – further your life?
If you are of the variety of people who feel the need to lie about virtually everything, I think it might be wise of you to really think about your priorities in life. I think you should take some time to think about why it is you feel you need to lie. How will you ever know if someone likes you if you don’t let them see the real you? At the end of the day, would you not rather be praised for who you are, rather than praised for a person you invented?
white dresses

Alright! Enough of lying chat. Onto more important things!

If you know me at all, you’d know I have a small, tiny obsession that takes over every fiber of my being. Now, let me tell you, most recently, I have fallen in love (sorry Baba).

In the past, I was extremely embarrassed about my love of all things wedding related. Wedding dresses, flowers, decor… all of it just makes me insanely happy. Why? I can’t even explain it. It isn’t even my wishing and hoping and planning my own wedding (though, let’s no suggest that isn’t part of it). It’s the whole she-bang in general. I love love and everything that comes along with it.

To me, weddings are the declaration of love: the ultimate ‘I want to be with you forever and I want everyone to know about it’. I can attest to the statement that getting married and having a wedding just ends in a silly piece of paper that in no way defines how much you love someone. But to me, it is a lot more.  To get married and have a wedding – no matter the size – is to say: “Hi. I love you. I love you a whole lot, and I want to spend the rest of my days with you. But, you know what? I want the whole world to regard us as an ‘us’, officially. I want to share with you everything. I want to spend one, beautiful day celebrating our love with everyone with care for the most. Will you join me?”
Guys, if you can’t think of a way to propose, I give you permission to copy that!

I can also agree the what comes after the wedding is far more important: the marriage. The concept of merging into one another’s lives completely, building or buying a house, birthing children, creating and growing old together. The wedding itself is just something that the girl in me has always longed for. And that beauty up there is the perfect dress for me. Timeless, elegant and modest.

Way to talk myself right up there…

I don’t mean to say that I am timeless, elegant and modest (although if you’d like to think me that, I promise I won’t fight you), I just mean that these are descriptive words that always appealed to me. I’ve never been interested in being flashy, or in the spot light. I am not crazy, nor eccentric. In my past, I have longed to be, but with time it has become quite apparent that simplicity is my strongest suit.

Who knows, maybe one day I’ll have a picture of me wearing this beautiful gown.

 Or, you know, I’ll cause my current boyfriend to have a heart-attack induced by an overwhelming amount of marriage and wedding talk and find myself single!

I’d still probably wear this dress.

Afternoon tea with gal pals is reason enough to wear white, don’t you think?

white swan
That is all for now,

Stay sweet
Caitlyn

It’s not Easy Being Green!

wednesday words 
We’ve all heard of it, I’m sure. Furthermore, we’ve all more than likely experienced it. It’s mean, it’s green and it’s… well, it’s just really dirty , is what it is.
I’m referring to the ever-popular, green monster. That’s right: jealousy.
I’ve mentioned in the past the human attraction to comparing themselves to others. We spent all of our time looking at our peers and – worse – celebrities, pining for their eyes, lips, body… you name it. Now, on the one hand, these actions can be completely healthy and innocent, unfortunately, in a lot of cases comparisons and jealousy can really take over one’s life. This is where all that mean and dirty stuff I mentioned before comes from. I don’t really know the origins of the ‘green’ monster. But, we’ll go with it.
I’ve never been the kind of girl to suggest that I was void of all forms of jealousy, but I have been the girl who has tried desperately to keep all green-like behaviors on the down low. People would ask me, ‘doesn’t that bother you?’ and I’d reply with, ‘no… should it?’.  From there, I’d most likely get defensive and dismissive, telling them they’re foolish to be do jealous.
As I grew older this mentality became more difficult to maintain. Jealousy is a natural human instinct, and one that should be in no way shameful. To be jealous of someone or something just implies that you a) care and b) have normal human emotions. What is shameful is when people use their jealousy as a catalyst for undesirable behavior.
On Being Jealous and Dealing with It
Regardless of how hard I tried to, I couldn’t beat it.
Turns out, I am human – this is something that I am sure many people have questioned over time. I get jealous. It never really occurred to me that it was, in fact, jealousy until my mother brought it to my attention. At first, I displayed my traditional ‘you’re crazy’.  Soon the epiphany took place and I realized I was jealous.
So that is what that feels like.
Huh.
At first, I was somewhat embarrassed by this. Now, I just embrace it. I’m totally allowed to be jealous of people for things. Completely! I just should not let that jealousy control my life – no no.
Best Ways to Deal With Jealousy 
  1. Look at what you have and be grateful for it.
    This is not specific to being jealous. Everyday you should wake up and think about all the things in your life you’re grateful for. 
  2. Take comfort in the fact that there is probably someone out there who is – in some way – jealous of you.
    Just don’t let it go to your head, guys. C’mon.
  3. Realize that jealousy is just a state of mind and that you can easily overcome the issues.
  4. If your jealous surrounds something that you can change, change it. If you’re not completely happy with yourself, there is no reason you cannot make improvements, using others as inspiration.
    The above is a statement that I state with a specific meaning in mind. I don’t condone any violent or hurtful self behavior in order to achieve something someone else has. What I am referring to is things that are easily changed. Perhaps you’re jealous of someone’s academic success. If you’re not happy with your academics, then I see no reason why you shouldn’t improve. Or, say you like someone’s hair style and longed to have it. I see no reason you cannot try to mimic their do. Do not, however, harm yourself in anyway to be like anyone else.
  5. Get to know the person to whom you are jealous of. Usually with jealousy comes negative emotions to the individual in question. If you take the time to get to know them, you’ll probably find that they do have their flaws, just like you. And even more importantly, you’ll probably grow to like them more, which – for me, at least – makes it harder to be so jealous.
These are just  some examples of how to overcome jealous emotions. Perhaps you agree with them, or perhaps you don’t. Regardless of your take on the proceeding, I think it would be wise to make number five a priority. Every time I’ve been jealous, the moment I humanize the subject, everything eases up. Like I’ve said before, there are always two sides to every story. Nothing is black and white, at all. Everyone comes with several layers, which make them more real and, oddly enough, much more likable. If you take the time to peel those layers and see their true self, you’ll more than likely be surprised with what you find. 
On Being the Subject of Some One’s Jealousy
I am perfectly comfortable in admitting that I’ve been the subject of another person’s jealous. It would be absolutely foolish of me to assume otherwise! The same goes for you. I am no suggesting the my existence if perfect, or anything. I’m just saying that I know people have been – maybe even slightly – jealous of me. Jealous like I’ve been jealous of several people. Heck, I bet there are some individuals whom I’ve been jealous of who have also been jealous of me.
I really hate being on the receiving end.
In the past I’ve had people act toward me in a very ‘must be nice to be you’ manor, which has really bothered me. You only know the girl I show you, so don’t assume my life is all flowers and rainbows. It’s not. I, like everyone else, have had to overcome a great many things. Yes, I’ve been extremely gifted. I will not argue that. I have the most amazing  mother, a caring father, a hilarious family, a cute dog, adorable friends and a boyfriend who has stolen my heart completely. So, yes, I’m lucky. But I’ve also struggled with anxiety, depression, an unhealthy relationship with eating, the feeling that I’m never good enough… the overall disgust for oneself. In school, I had to work hard. Some things didn’t come easy to me. With boys, I was rejected or just ‘the friend’ until Omar fell into my lap (best thing to happen to me), I’ve had friends betray me, hurt me, use me and throw me away. Does this sound familiar? Does any of it sound like you? I am sure at least one of these traits of mine do.
Now, in saying that, I’m not trying to achieve pity, at all. In fact, all these things that have happened to me, have made me into the person I am today (gotta love a cliche), so I’m not at all upset that they happened. I just feel like, maybe, before assuming something of someone you should get the whole story.
Alternatively, I’ve also been hurt due to someone’s jealous tendencies. This, right here, is the killer. And, what I personally see as completely unjustifiable. To be jealous of someone is understandable; to let that jealousy cause you to treat someone like shit is completely ridiculous.
I will never understand how people can let jealousy control their life so much that they’ll treat those around them poorly. This whole concept of wanting everyone around you to be as upset as you are is totally ridiculous. Can you spell ‘grow up’? If something good happens to someone, feel good for them. Don’t make them feel poorly because you do. That is just selfishness. I understand that sometimes it can be difficult to be happy for someone else, if you’re not happy. But, you need to try. Why? Because they’re probably just like you. Everyone has insecurities. Everyone. If you walk into a room of eight people, there are nine insecure people there. It’s just the way it is. We’re told over and over again that we are not good enough, so yes. We’re all insecure. When people seek excitement from other – namely their closest friends – it’s because that want that positive reinforcement. They want you to get excited for them, to help amplify their own happiness.
Stop being selfish and start making people feel good.
This whole concept can even relate to an older post of mine that touches on the concept of the law of attraction – a law to which I am in great support of. If you give out positivism, you’re likely to receive it in return.  In other words, if you walk around with a total bitchy face on, make fun of others and exert general negativism, then at the end of the day, that’s what is going to come your way.
And I hate to say it, but you’ll deserve it.
The next time you feel that green eyed monster creeping up behind you, ask yourself this simple question:Does anyone truly rock that shade of green?
Two Reasons Why You Should Never Feel Jealousy Toward Me
1. I still think pictures where you are pretending to climb things/making faces are preferable to ones where you’re smiling like a normal, sane person.
2. I’m the kind of person who tries to be scary to no avail. Instead of looking like a bear, I look like a rabbit. Not a cute one. Maybe one with rabies or something.
The above pictures were taken the the Museum of Natural History. I went there this weekend with my Mama and a lady I work with named Elizabeth. It was quite interesting. I plan to keep my eyes pealed for exhibits of interest to me and go again!
That is all for now
Stay sweet,
Caitlyn

Getting better with age.

Good afternoon!

thursday thoughts and things
There are four emotions that I’ve always somewhat struggled with. I mean, not to an extreme, but certainly enough for me to take notice. I’ve never been the kind of girl who thinks I come without flaw. In fact, I’ve always been the type of girl who verbalizes her flaws, regularly – often with humorous anecdotes to make it seem as if they don’t bother me, when sometimes they do. In short, I’m very self aware of both my strengths and my weaknesses. Of my (many) weaknesses, there are – as mentioned – four that have always gotten to me.
My…
  • sensitivity;
  • inability to let things go;
  • fear of changes;
  • general assumption that I’m doing something wrong

A few of these (my sensitivity being the most notable) have yet to ease up, I will admit. There has been – I am very happy to say – some progress on the other three areas.

My Inability to Let Things Go

 I’ve always had a bit of an issue with this. If you hurt me, that was it. I wrote you off. I had this mentality that if you did something to hurt me, you didn’t care enough about me so I should not keep you in my life. Simple. Done and done. As I’ve mature, I’ve come to realize that life isn’t so black and white. In fact, there are a lot of gray areas. Someone who loves you dearly can easily hurt you, without realizing it. Everyone has differing opinions on things and therefore will ultimately be affected by situations in different ways. There are two sides to every story.

Looking back, I’m kind of regretful that I behaved that way. Or had that mentality. I can’t really think of any relationships – at the moment – that I have ruined by doing this. On the other hand, I can certainly think of a few current relationships that I would in no way want to end because of this mentality.

Alternatively, I came to the realization that I am not completely innocent here, either. I am equally able to hurt someone I care about as they are to hurt me. I certainly would not want someone to let me go because I did something I didn’t think would hurt them.

So, to sum up, I’m trying to let go of not letting go! When it comes to the important people in your life, you can’t let little things get in the way. Their role in your life is far too important to lose. I assure you.

My Fear of Changes

As I’ve already mentioned, I’ve always had issues with changes. Even though I’ve adhered to changing things up regularly in my life, I am still plagued by this daily. Most recently my manager decided to take me off the Service desk and have me working the sales floor. At first, I was excited to do something different. Then, immediately after, I got nervous. What if I do a poor job? What if I get confused? What if… what if… what if?

What if I kick serious rump?

I am not saying that I did kick serious rump on the floor, but I’ve definitely been enjoying my time there! I still get a little worried every single time I leave to go home. I’m safely assuming that my work will be seen as half-ass’ed or something. I’m still getting used to the floor – again. It almost feels like I’m at a new job. But, I kind of like it. Like, a lot. I even have a preferred section!

This experience – although small – has reminded me to chill out a little more. You know, that experience and Omar.

My Assumption that I’m Always in the Wrong 

This one is a doozy. I don’t have a lot of confidence in myself and have a really bad habit of knocking myself down. I don’t really register it as ‘knocking myself down’ in most situations. Like I mentioned before, I often poke fun at myself to make it seem like I don’t care, when I really do. For some reason, when people laugh at these jokes, I turn it around in my head, thinking that them laughing is them agreeing to my statement.

This drives me loved ones absolutely crazy. And, understandably so. These people think highly of me and I refuse to believe it. Lately, however, I’ve been trying to focus on the parts of me I love. And, I have been making more of a point to vocalize the bits of me I think are awesome. Like, the progress my body has made and my vocabulary. I’m starting to realize that you can compliment yourself without sounding like you’re full of yourself.

i love summer

 

my work out
Stay lovely and sweet
Caitlyn

Gone, but not forgotten

Good morning lads and lasses,

over the breakfast bowl

When I originally decided to start a blog focusing on wellness and nutrition, I came up against a few considerations:

  • What will be my main focus?
  • How will I make people want to read my blog?
  • Or, further more, how will I make people return to my blog?
    But most importantly…
  • How personal am I will to get?

The first three questions were easy to answer. Firstly – and quite obviously – my main focus would be on fitness, food/nutrition, lifestyle and wellness and general well-being of one’s self (side note: does anyone else find it easier to type something up if you like the font you’re typing in?). Next, I tackled the ‘how’. I decided the best way to do it was to just be myself. And although I’m still very much in the beginning stages of my blogging life, I feel a great deal of promise that one day I will be more established (just wait for it).

It was the last question that had me stumped. How personal am I willing to get?

At first I thought I should be only moderately personal. Truthfully, no one needs to know these things about me, so there is no real reason for me to have to share them. Then, I decided to get a little deeper. In all honesty, I don’t see there to be anything to be ashamed of regarding my struggles. Yes, I spent three years struggling with disordered eating. Yes, I’ve done things to my body that I am not proud of. Yes. That did happen. So, instead of letting that go in complete vain, I thought I’d try to do what I can to ensure that other people with similar struggles have someone to turn to (feel free at any time to e-mail me with questions or concerns; I’d love to help). I wanted people to know that somewhere out there live a girl who understands completely.

But, with that, I also had to decide to commit to full disclosure. Let’s call a spade a spade, here. A blog – in many ways – is one’s personal diary put onto the internet, in hopes of connecting with people and having their voice heard. I knew exactly what I was committing to; I still do. Unfortunately having something so personal become public knowledge does leave room for speculation.

I don’t intend to get into too many details – that’d be too personal 😛 – but, it has become apparent to me that once you have struggled with something such as an eating disorder, it will always be somewhat attached to you. I am not suggesting that my recovery is complete. I think there is a fine line between being a healthy freak and having a disordered relationship with eating and currently, I feel I’m walking it (though, the wind seems to be going in the right direction, so soon I might fall to the right side). Regardless of how I feel, those who care for me will always have it in the back of their mind. It would be no different, I suppose, then a person covering from alcoholism. In any event that they should be in the company of an alcoholic beverage, it would not be surprising for someone to worry about the aforementioned recovering alcoholic.

Same goes for me – and other ED recovers, alike. Should we go to the bathroom too many times, purging is a fair concern; should we seem like we’re picking out food, it’s quite possible we’re restricting. In actuality, we could truthfully not be hungry, or maybe we just have a case of the runs (TMI?… TMI.) Regardless of the actual reason, visuals of unpleasant actions will dance in their heads.

At first, when this occurred to me I immediately felt somewhat embarrassed. I can’t explain why, but I did. Then, after some more thinking, I realized that it was absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.  In fact, I should feel comforted by the fact that there are people out there who care for me so greatly. Which, I do. I love knowing that I have people who worry and care about my. Who have my back and support me, no matter what. Yes, if I could disconnect myself with my bad experiences, I would, gladly. But, I cannot. This is something that has happened to me; this is something that has made me who I am today: a strong, happy individual.

If you’re like me and have any embarrassments about your past struggles, don’t. They’ve formed you into the beautiful person you are right now. Whether you’ve dealt with death, suicidal thoughts, EDs, self mutilation, self disgust, anything! If you’ve ever faced any challenge in your life, considering yourself beautiful for getting through it. You made it, guys. I made it, too. For that, you should be nothing but proud.

june yoga challenge
Sweet Tooth, Sweet Life

This week all of my workouts incorporated yoga! 🙂
Each day I did a series of Sun Salutes, which I love very much (it’s becoming my favorite way to warm up my body. Especially when I include my Sweaty Sun Salute.

One was just a simple core series – a lot of boat poses, roughly 30 minutes.
The other ones were designed by yours truly!
One was focused on your core: Widdle Your Middle
One was focused on your legs: Warrior Woman Workout
And one was focused on the upper body: Chaturanga Charge Workout

I am loving my fusions. Today I attempted to do a yoga fusion, with a focus on your shoulders and your back. And, although it did get my heart rate up, it isn’t ready for publication just yet.

Although,
This week I discovered a move I love. I call it the “Downward Dog to Plank”. Basically you just hold downward dog, then pull forward into plank, holding eat posture for a few seconds. It really works the back, core and shoulders, but also gets the heart rate up!

Give it a try!

Anyhow,
Stay sweet!

Caitlyn.

Why you need to be a Warrior sometimes…

Good Morning, you lovely lovely people!

over the breakfast bowl

I am not sure why people are such grouches sometimes. I really don’t.

I mean, we only live for, like, a hundred year max, which doesn’t give you a lot of time, when you really put things into perspective. So, why is it that some people waste time being a royal pain in the rump?

Being a retail associate I am forced to surround myself with a multitude of different people every day of my life. Now, contrary to what most people suggest, I don’t find the vast majority of customers that annoying. In fact, the customers make my job worth going to in a lot of cases. I love to get to know them, find out what they’re going to use their purchases for and so on and so forth. Generally speaking, I love that aspect of retail.

This might just have something to do with my need to, you know, talk.

Nevertheless, yesterday I was plagued by a not-so-kind individual who actually caused me to – I’ll say it – cry. Now, I am not going to sit here and suggest that I didn’t overreact. I’ve always been of the variety of people who wear their heart heavily on their sleeve. I hate disappointing people, so when some one is disappointed, it gets to me.

This woman was cruel, however. It was as if nothing I said would calm her down. She began to holler at me, while I was working, which – let’s be honest – is not only hurtful but embarrassing in a public setting. Eventually a member of management stepped in and allowed me to go calm myself down.

This is when it occurred to me.

I’ve been doing this for five years. Should I not be used to it by now?

I’ve dealt with a great number of these customers and it never seems to get any easier for me. I look at other people, like my father, my boyfriend and even my mother as of lately, handle these customers without letting it really get to them. For some reason, I have an issue doing that.

I know I need to toughen my skin; I do. I just couldn’t be less informed as to how to do it.

So, I am going to just put out a little message:

First, customer, our jobs are not easy. We’re constantly pooped on and not treated with respect. We work hard and receive very little recognition – well, most of us. So please, take it easy on us. OK? And I promise we will be good to you.

Now, to everyone like me, we need to toughen up our skin! Find something that makes you feel strong. I think of my boyfriend and my Mama. I think about how strong they are and how far they’ve come, and I realize we’re all capable of anything.

Then, I think of my fitness and progress. I think about how far I’ve come and how physically strong I feel. I think about my 35 minute mornings; the best sweat sessions there could be.

Then I think about my plans for the future and how they’ve developed. I plan to go places and one day these people will mean nothing to me.

Lastly, I think about that person. I think about why they’re so angry. Then, I smile because I know that my life is probably going to be so much more fulfilling because I treat people kindly, instead of hurtfully.

today’s work out

Today’s theme is toughening up, and being a “warrior”. So, today, I designed a work out fit for a Warrior. 🙂

Warrior Woman Workout
This is a lower body yoga fusion work out
You’ll need: Yoga mat, interval timer.

Set your interval timer to 3 rounds of 6 minutes (30 seconds low, 1 minute high) with 5 minutes ‘rest’ in between – again, not used for rest, so rest as needed.
Begin with a Warm Up: 1 minute of jogging and 1 minute of sun salutations, AMRAP

Start with your five minute cardio AMRAP
50 high knees, 30 jump squats, 25 jump lunges, 30 skaters

Series One: Warrior One/Warrior Two Series
30 seconds hold Warrior One Position (left)
1 minute forward lunges (left) – last 20 seconds pulse in the lunge position
30 seconds hold Warrior One Position (right)
1 minute forward lunges (right) – last 20 seconds pulse in the lunge position
30 seconds hold Warrior Two Position (left)
1 minute right side lunges – last 20 seconds pulse in the side lunge position
30 seconds hold Warrior Two position (left)
1 minute side right side lunges – last 20 seconds pulse in the side lunge position

Complete your five minute AMRAP (above)

Series Two: Chair Position Series
30 seconds hold chair pose
1 minute squat with right left raise to the side
30 seconds hold chair pose
1 minute squat with left leg raise to the side
30 second hold chair pose
1 minute pulse in a low squat
30 second hold chair pose
1 minute full squats

Complete your five minute AMRAP (above)

Series Three: Warrior Three series
30 seconds hold warrior three position (balance on left leg)
1 minute back leg raise on left (keep leg straight and raise)
30 seconds hold warrior three position (balance on right leg)
1 minute back leg raise on right (keep leg straight and raise)
30 seconds hold warrior three position (balance on left leg)
1 minute curtsy lunge with leg raise (with slightly bent knee; on left)
30 seconds hold warrior three position (balance on right leg)
1 minute curtsy lunge with leg raise (with slightly bent knee; on right)

Complete your five minute AMRAP (above)

Stretch and done! 🙂

That is all!

Here is something pretty to look at:

Mama told me the other day that she loved this picture. So I found it to put it up.
Love you, Mama Bear. 🙂

Stay sweet,
Caitlyn

Getting my Giggle Back

Good morning! I hope you all had a lovely sleep.

In moving my blog, I’ve also decided to evolve the layout a tad. Rather than just merely writing one entry day, I’ll write whenever I find the time. I am becoming extremely serious about making this – my blog – something ‘more’.

Now, don’t think each post is going to be a two-second read. No, no. I will still have my long ramblings, but typically speaking it would be wise to check in again in the evening, because there may just be a new read for your eyes!

over the breakfast bowl

Every morning I get up and have my breakfast, plan my workout and set my timer, then I start to think. So, I thought, why not share these pleasant thoughts with whomever stumbled upon my page? So, brace yourself!

Please note, from this point on I will refer to my disordered eating as ‘Ed’. I read that in a book once and I kind of liked it. I’d rather blame this all on Ed, then actually say the words. Kapish?

Before Ed came into my life, I was a girl who was always laughing! At herself, mostly, albeit, but always laughing. I was the type of girl who thought that no issue in life – no matter how big – couldn’t be solved with a smiled. And probably a good cuppa tea!

Then, upon meeting Ed, my smile kind of faded away.

Yesterday, I was playing cards with my mother (yes, I am a 20-year-old girl who would rather spend her weekends at home, kicking her mother’s rump at Crazy Eights, then going out and drinking or doing other young-adult activities) when it occurred to me how often I have been laughing lately. And, I mean, I am not talking just a chuckle here, or a chuckle there; I mean, full on laughter. Until my ribs hurt.

It is kind of incredible, getting your giggle back. Please don’t allowed your giggle to fade, everyone. A laugh is – by far – the most beautiful sound there is.

I’ve also noticed a few things that will always cause severe giggle attacks:

My Giggles
– Extremely bad and intentional puns;
– References from the TV show, ‘Friends’;
– Russell Peters;
– A baby laughing;
– Silly billy words little kids say;
– MamaBear’s weirdness;
– Stories MamaBear tells me about her and Auntie A;
– BabaBear in general;
– My dog, Zooey’s – you’ll learn more about her – routines;
– Van from the show Reba;
– (sad, but true) When you’re working out and it is really hard. Like, really. I don’t know why, but I always laugh when work outs get intense;
– How I can count the seconds at work until a co-worker of mine tells me how hot a customer was;
– How sometimes I manage to beat that co-worker to the punch in saying, ‘you liked him, didn’t ya?’;
– When I say or do really stupid things – more often than I’d like to admit;

The list could go on and on, I assure you.

today’s work out

This morning I woke up from a challenge from the ToneItUp girls to preform their Summer Slim Work Out along with 20-30 minutes of cardio. So, I intend to do the circuit three times, breaking it up with three eight-minute cardio blasts. I’ll be using lighter weights because my upper body is still a wee bit sore from my workout yesterday.

Nevertheless, I’m off to get ready for the days sweat-sesh!

Stay sweet,
Caitlyn